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This week my daughter Rosie came home from school unusually excited. What would a five-year-old girl typically be excited about? A birthday party… a new art project… anything pink and glittery… But no, my Rosie was excited about something completely different: A mission. A task. An assignment.

She pulled out a book of raffle tickets from her school and got right to work. School wanted her to raise some money? She was determined to do it.

Now, I’m no stranger to fundraising. In fact, it takes up a big chunk of my time and energy. But as I watched Rosie tackling her assignment, something just didn’t add up.

Here’s my five-year-old daughter, completely new to fundraising, and her raffle tickets are selling like hotcakes! No one said “no”. The teachers in the preschool, the parents picking up their children, everyone she approached bought at least one ticket.

Then there’s me, always trying to raise money for our Chabad center. I’ve been at it for years. And time after time I hear, “maybe,” “not now,” “a different day” or just plain “no”.

Of course, my daughter’s raffle tickets involve much less investment than supporting one of our programs. But there must be more to it.

Our sages say, “Words which come from the heart, enter the heart.” If a person asks another to do a mitzvah, and truly asks with his or her whole heart, it is almost impossible for the other person to refuse.

My daughter, in her young innocence, truly believes everyone around her is just waiting for the opportunity to support her school. And how can anyone resist such heartfelt certainty?

If only we could all learn from Rosie’s purity of heart! How much easier our lives would be…

Interestingly, a friend recently approached me with a problem. He explained that although he doesn’t consider himself religious, it is important to him to make Kiddush on Friday nights. Unfortunately, his wife is extremely bothered by his tradition and makes sure to busy herself with the children whenever he begins the prayer. Understandably, he finds her behavior hurtful.

I suggested that at the height of his frustration, he should take a deep breath, tell his wife that he loves her, and then continue with his Kiddush. I explained that the only way to truly influence a person is with love; real love and concern for the other person.

I’ve come to realize that when I ask someone to put on tefillin, or do any other mitzvah – including charity – if that person refuses, the fault lies in me, not in the other person. Because when I truly love the other person with all my heart and soul, he or she will not be able to refuse.

And this is what Moses demonstrates in Parshat Beshalach which we read this week. Moses was a true leader. Even when his people gave him a hard time, he did not abandon them.

Moses had taken the Jewish people out of their exile in Egypt, freed them from slavery, led them through the desert, split the sea and yet they were ungrateful. They had just witnessed some of the greatest miracles in the history of the universe, but still they complained.

“We have no water; we will die out here…”

So Moses gave them water.

“We have no food; we should have stayed in Egypt…”

So Moses gave them Manna from heaven.

Throughout his years of leadership, more than forty long and hard years, Moses remained dedicated and loving towards his people. He defended them. He taught them. He encouraged them. But most of all, he loved them unconditionally.

He showed us what true leadership entails: he taught us to love one another without reservation. 

This week I sent a Facebook friend request to someone I had only recently met. I got a message on my screen that Facebook was barring me from taking this action; since I had recently sent a friend invite to someone I did not personally know. The website informed me that as a result of this, I would not be allowed to make friend requests for the next two weeks. The truth is though; that I currently have 1574 friends on Facebook, most of whom I know personally, and I almost never send requests to people I don’t know.

Chabad Israel Center recently hosted a very successful Friday night dinner for our young professionals. There were 150 people in attendance, among them many new faces. I mentally jotted down a note to befriend them on Facebook, until I remembered my two weeks weren’t up yet.

At first I was really annoyed. But then it hit me that I have over 1500 Facebook friends and I’m still not satisfied. I decided right then and there to appreciate what I did have and to focus more energy on my current friends. So the two week Facebook “curse” actually turned out to be a blessing. I was able to cultivate the relationships that already existed and reach out to those I already knew. And so it ought to be in all of our lives; we need to cherish that which is already ours, bond with our loved ones and channel our energy into appreciating one of life’s greatest gifts.

A friend of mine (who does not yet have a facebook account) was recently complaining about how difficult his life is. He was feeling frustrated and somewhat depressed over his failure to raise capital to purchase a new building for his business.  I looked him straight in the eye and reminded him of the beautiful wife and and darling son G-d has blessed him with. “Why don’t you focus on them?” I prompted. “Why don’t you appreciate your stunning home?” “Thank G-d for the wonderful blessings He has bestowed on you!”

Indeed, there is one area of our lives we should never be satisfied with- the spiritual side. Our sages teach us that when it comes to our physical needs, we should always be satisfied with what we have, but when it comes to our spiritual concerns we should always try to increase.

This essentially is what Parshat Bo is all about. Pharaoh was possessed of an unmatched ego that eventually led to his downfall. The prophet Ezekiel describes Pharaoh as "the great serpent who couches in the midst of his streams, who says, “My river is my own, and I have made myself" (Ezekiel 29:3) Moshe pleaded endlessly with Pharaoh to release the Jewish people, yet he adamantly refused, preferring to think of himself as a god with hundreds of thousands of Hebrew worshippers. With the end of each plague he faced a choice to let them go or stay, but his self image refused to consider their release. Pharoah was a tyrant, a mass murderer and at the core of it all was his bloated ego. Pharaoh was never satisfied with his lot, his need to obtain more and more drove him. In the end he was left with nothing.

Let us all focus on the blessings that G-d has bestowed upon us!

The world watched horrified this week as the tragedy of the sinking Costa Concordia seized our screens. Eleven have perished, twenty one are still unaccounted for and the blame is being laid squarely on the captain's shoulders.

Francesco Schettino, was born in 1960 in Meta Campania. In 2002, after attending the Nautical Institute at Piano, Schettino joined Costa Cruises first as an official in charge of security and then moved up to become second in command before being promoted to the rank of captain on the newly launched Costa Concordia.

Schettino had trained for years to captain a ship; his qualifications included how to take appropriate action in a time of crisis. But alas, when push came to shove, the cowardly captain did not hesitate to shirk his responsibility.

In fact, the first person to call for help was a passenger; the captain himself did not make a distress call until 49 minutes after the impact, saying, "Va bene (OK), let's declare distress." The recordings reveal a man apparently out of control, incapable of displaying the kind of decisiveness needed from a ship's captain in ordinary circumstances, let alone a disaster such as this.

His version of events involves him falling off of the ship as it listed.  Whatever the case may be, he clearly abandoned his vessel and saved his own skin, making a hasty retreat by cab back to his hotel while thousands of passengers and crew remained stranded on the stricken craft. Schettino allegedly even refused to return to the ship to oversee the evacuation after being ordered to do so by the coast guard.

His years of training all amounted to this moment--the defining moment of his career-- yet when it faced him he failed miserably. Imagine the irony: you spend practically your entire life preparing for a single moment, and when it arrives it totally passes you by.

Every one of us was placed here in this world for a purpose and a mission.  We spend our whole lives preparing for it, but don’t necessarily know when our moment will arrive. We attend school. We absorb the life lessons of our parents and teachers. We sit through college. Little do we know, that very mission could be one single Mitzvah. As the Baal Shem Tov says, our souls may have descended from Heaven to this world for 70 years just in order to do one favor to a fellow Jew.

Moshe Rabbeinu observes his very own sinking ship in this week’s parsha. His flock, the Jewish people, are drowning in Egypt. Pharaoh is callously throwing their newborns into the Nile. Each day sees the slaughter of 300 Jewish children in whose blood Pharaoh bathes- an apparent cure for his leprosy. Matters deteriorate further when Pharaoh withholds straw from the Jewish slaves, ordering them to find their own with which to make mortar, in addition to producing their daily quota of bricks. The exile has become unbearable, yet the captain does not abandon his vessel. He could have easily saved his own skin and returned to his own house and family. Instead  Moses protests, "My G-d, why have You done evil to this people?"  He begs and pleads on their behalf and eventually G-d redeems the nations.

When our pinnacle moment arrives, we can’t mess up. We must rise to the occasion. What will you do in your moment of truth?

I was studying Torah with a dear friend this week and following the session, he made his way to the subway to catch a train home. While innocently sitting on the train minding his own business, a total stranger approached him and punched him smack in the face. Such an astounding thing has never happened to him in his life. Instinctively he punched his attacker back. The subway doors opened right then, preventing a great commotion. 

America is in the process of electing a new president. An ordeal that is nothing but a big boxing arena. Everybody is out to see who can land the hardest punch, for he who punches the strongest is crowned the victor. It is a messy procedure because of the dirt that is smeared on rival candidates’ profiles. If a politician wants to gain popularity, he shamelessly punches his contender in the face rather than portray himself as a viable nominee. A true head chooses the respectable route to gain the nation’s esteem; he exhibits the qualities of a leader and demonstrates his virtues, thereby elevating himself without quashing his opponents.

As a small child, Reb Zalman Aharon (the Raza), the older brother of the Rebbe Sholom Dov Ber of Lubavitch (the Rashab) often complained that he was noticeably shorter than his younger brother. One day, the Raza sneaked up behind his brother and pushed him lightly into a small ditch. As the Rashab stood up in surprise, the Raza seized the moment and pointed out that now he was taller. Rabbi Shmuel of Lubavitch, the father of the two boys, observed the entire episode. The Rebbe asked for a chair, ordered the Raza to stand on it, and asked him, “Tell me, who is taller now?” The Raza answered excitedly that yet again he was taller. “Aha!” said Rabbi Shmuel. “There you are! To be bigger than your friend, there is no need to pull him down. Simply elevate yourself!”

Indeed it was by this principle that Israel’s greatest leader, Moses, conducted his life. In this week’s parsha when G-d revealed Himself to Moses in the burning bush and requested that he confront Pharaoh and ultimately lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses immediately protested and asked G-d to elect a more suitable candidate. "Who am I to go to Pharaoh and to take Israel out of Egypt?" Our politicians would do well to learn the trait of humility from Moses. By portraying an opponent as a suitable and worthy candidate, rather than lowering himself, he proves his worthiness as a leader.

The principle ought to be applied in our personal lives. A friend of mine complained bitterly to me this week. He owns a successful restaurant that has provided nicely for him and his family over the last couple of years. Several months ago a restaurant opened up next door his place. Things started going downhill so he began to subtly bad-mouth the other place to his customers. I advised him to shape up his own place instead of belittling his neighbour… the superiority of his restaurant will automatically attract business.

When you get punched in the face, don’t punch back, straighten your shoulders and show them what you’ve got. It takes a unique strength of character to step back and walk away.The kind of strength of character that defines a real leader.

Chabad Israel Center was thrilled to host a Chanukah concert this week featuring Israeli pop singer Gad Elbaz. Even more thrilled were my kids who got to stay up late and witness the spectacular show. They ended up going to bed rather later than usual at 10:30pm. By the time I had wrapped things up backstage and in the hall itself, it was well past 1am, and so I was looking forward to a good few hours rest. Almost as my head hit the pillow though, I heard my three-year-old son Mendel calling out for me.

I gently lifted him out of his bed and brought him to mine- a tactic that usually has him calm and asleep within seconds. Only this time, he simply wouldn’t relax. Mendel was in the midst of a gripping nightmare, and quite simply could not shake himself out of it. He was screaming and fidgeting, and so eventually Shevy held him in her arms and soothed him for several minutes.

Interestingly, Mendel’s experience is not limited to children nor to the middle of the night. Precisely the same scenario shapes human life. The Chassidic Masters note that the first exile of the Jewish people in Egypt came about through a haze of dreams. Joseph’s dreams regarding his sovereignty over his brothers, the baker’s and butler’s dreams in the Egyptian dungeon, and Pharoah’s dreams signifying the famine that would befall Egypt were all catalysts that triggered the arrival of Joseph and his entire family to Egypt where their descendants were to suffer enslavement and persecution until their liberation by Moses. As the Psalmist notes in Chapter 126, "When G-d will return the exiles of Zion we will [see our experiences in exile] as having been dreamers."

The world of dreams is vaporous, unstable and totally limitless. We live in such a dream state, where we are so engrossed in our petty, trivial lives that we don’t even recognize we are in a dream. The seemingly real and vivid exile that we currently find ourselves in forms the backdrop of the dream, compelling us to believe that this is a definite actuality. Our dear Father yearns to rouse us out of the slumberous state, yet we are too absorbed to notice. Comes Chanukah and we illuminate the darkness of the world with the flicker of a candle. We shed light onto the true reality, briefly dispelling the falseness of our existence. The flickering flame is G-d communicating to us, urging us to awaken, to bid farewell to this exile and move on.   

The main character of a riveting movie is in danger. As he ducks to avoid a fatal shot, you feel a surge of adrenaline, your fingers cross unbidden, and your mouth urgently forms a prayer of salvation. Sure, you are aware that the scene before you is staged, and that the fates of each character have been predetermined, yet you still hang off the edge of your seat, refusing to lose hope.

Each of our lives in exile is but an extensive movie, with each of us playing the main character. Recognizing this fact lends us great freedom and power. It grants us the awareness and the desire to pursue what truly matters in life, so that after 120 years, we can play back the reel in our minds and sit back relaxed and assured that the script has been followed to our exact liking.

Happy Chanukah! 

This past Tuesday night I attended a very special and most unique wedding of Moishy Lew to Chavee Rosenblum. What made it so special was the fact that it was my wife’s brother’s wedding, but it was unique because my parents-in-law married off their fifteenth child, Moishy. The oldest sibling, Yossi, is 47 years old and is himself a father of ten kids as well as a grandfather. He was just twenty three when his baby brother was born. You can imagine taking the family picture at the wedding - it was a tremendous ordeal as we had to get over 130 immediate family members together!

During the wedding my father-in-law, Rabbi Shmuel Lew, shared the following story.

On the 5th of Elul 5747/1987, he spontaneously joined the line to receive a dollar from the Rebbe. His eldest daughter Chaya, was then in the process of dating and he was tormented as to how he should be guiding his child, what he should say to her and which direction he should steer her in. Finally, after an hour and a half wait, he stood before the Rebbe and was handed a dollar accompanied by the standard blessing of “blessing and success”. The Rebbe then called him back after he had left and added, “G-d should help that you should merit good matches and excellent partners for all your children.” And indeed, his greatest blessing from G-d is his kids, and even more so his kids’ spouses!

My father-in-law says that during the years of his children dating there were some difficult moments when he didn’t know if they would find the right spouse. There were times where he thought that perhaps he wasn’t worthy of this special blessing given by the Rebbe. (I wonder how strong his doubts were when I was dating his twelfth child!) His wife was adamant in her faith in the Rebbe’s blessing. This last wedding was the closing of a circle- the Rebbe's blessing was fulfilled with the marriage of his youngest child.

I looked at the faces of my dear parents-in-law during the wedding and I could see that they were the happiest people in the world. Money can buy a lot of things. It can buy luxury cars and state-of-the-art houses but no amount can purchase the nachas and joy that they felt during the wedding. It’s time that we idolized such people instead of the empty society around us. As somebody put it at the wedding, “I would give away all the money that I have to be able to have such a family.” As a beautiful conclusion to the Rebbe’s wonderful blessing, a friend of my father-in-law blessed him that he should merit to dance at the weddings of each of his grandchildren...

The message that I learned that night is to simply have faith in our dear G-d. Keep having faith- even during the harsh times. G-d is out there and He will surely help.

The hero of this week’s parsha, Yosef, is renowned for the rough circumstances that shaped his life. His mother died when he was extremely young, his brothers hated him and sold him into slavery. He was incarcerated for twelve years for a crime he didn’t commit and all the while his father believed him dead. But through it all, what led him on and what kept him alive was a simple, flawless faith in G-d. We all require a dose of faith in our lives, and like it was for Yosef and my father-in-law and my mother-in-law, usually the outcome is very satisfactory.

This past Monday I was heading to my weekly Talmud class in Midtown. I have the subway schedule timed to the minute. That particular morning, as always, I left my office at exactly 11:08am feeling confident that I’d arrive at 11:29. But suddenly the train started to slow in between 68th and 59th Streets, until it eventually came to a complete stop. The conductor explained there were technical difficulties which were being resolved. Five minutes passed, then ten and I knew I was late.

Our class is comprised of extremely busy businessmen who lead hectic lives. Any delay is crucial. The class runs for exactly forty minutes, with a strict policy of no cell phones. So here I am on a broken train, thinking of all the people relying on my arrival, probably incensed at this total waste of time. We ended up stranded for thirty minutes, the hardest part for me being unable to tweet, text or update my Facebook profile.

After thirty minutes the train suddenly started chugging along, only to stop shortly after. The conductor announced the train will make its final destination at 59th Street, at which point we would all need to depart and find a new train to take us to 42nd Street. Now any chance I had of learning was totally quashed…

As Jews we know that nothing occurs of its own accord, everything is ordained by divine providence. G-d orchestrates the movements and existence of every creation- from a gust of wind to a grain of sand. Although I know everything G-d does is for a purpose, I still have no idea why He would prefer my train breaking down to me teaching a Torah class.

While stuck underground, I gazed around me and was somewhat surprised to note the atmosphere of calm and serenity. The reason for the amazement was that in any other circumstance, New Yorkers are usually stricken with “ants in their pants.” Take, for example, a drive down Lexington Avenue on an average Wednesday afternoon. When I wait by a red light, the guy behind me starts honking the second the light turns green. That’s because the city is always on the go, always moving. So it was with great amusement that I pictured the scene several feet up as opposed to the unnatural one down below.

And then the answer dawned upon me. I realized that the passengers had perfect faith in the conductor to solve the situation. They knew with absolute certainty that the train would start operating again. They could choose to get anxious and perhaps break down doors, but their simple faith negated such a reaction, for they were convinced that shortly they would be out of this predicament.

The same holds true in our lives. I paid a spiritual visit to a friend of mine recently who is undergoing a financial crisis as a result of losing his job. I put up mezuzot in his house and showed him how to don tefillin every day. I explained to him that he still needed to do everything possible to find a new job, but in addition to that, there was one other thing. Our Sages teach us that the thoughts of man generate tremendous power. “Think good and it will be good” is nothing new to Judaism- we have been practicing this mantra for centuries. Because it works. In my situation on the train, I couldn’t help but notice the people’s faith and positive reaction toward the conductor. If we can trust a cunductor surely we can put our faith in the One Above.

This is the very lesson we learn from Yaakov in this week’s parsha. He encounters his twin brother Esav who has designs on his life. Twenty two years previously Yaakov had fled from his father’s home after he “stole” Esav’s blessings and Esav never stopped resenting him for the deception. Now, after all these years, Yaakov prepares to face the music. Before the dreaded meeting, Yaakov sends Esav gifts to try to appease him. Next he arms himself and prepares to fight. Lastly, Yaakov prays to G-d and places his full faith in His hands.

When one finds himself in a sticky situation, he is required to do everything in his power to resolve the situation. Just like Yaakov. But most importantly, he must remember where true salvation lies. In our dear Father in Heaven.

This past Monday morning, a dear friend of mine managed to convince me to work out with him in Central Park. We began by circling the park reservoir- a light 1.6 miles. We then headed to the benches where we did forty pushups and forty dips. It has now been three days since those thirty minutes of exercise and I am still feeling extreme agony in muscles I hadn’t even known existed. In fact, it is even painful to be typing these words.

As every athlete knows, exercising without being in shape is a painful ordeal. I suppose as a rabbi I have been studying a lot of Torah and eating too much cholent by the Kiddush while not paying enough attention to the physical health of my body. Lack of regular physical activity has placed an enormous amount of strain on my muscles. Well, that’s about to change. I have decided to get fit, although that won’t really alleviate my present predicament. When I next work out, though, I’m going to have to take it easy. Start off with less, then build up gradually to allow my body to become accustomed to the routine.

I often urge people to get into spiritual shape. I suggest starting off by studying Torah once a week. The most common excuse is lack of time, to which I respond that if there is time to nurture the physical body by feeding it every day and exercising it, then time has got to be set aside as well for the soul. And just as it is with physical training, spiritual training need also be gradual. If on day one you begin by lifting forty pound weights, you may kill yourself. Start by learning Torah once a week and gradually build up. Rome wasn’t built in one day! You need to start somewhere, taking baby steps…

This week’s Parsha details Yaakov’s initiation into the business world. Upon arrival in Charan, he spent twenty years working, guarding his uncle Lavan’s sheep. The Midrash relates that before Yaakov made his way to Charan, he spent fourteen years studying Torah constantly in the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever. And it took fourteen years of nourishing his soul before he felt ready to delve his body in the art of business.

This is not to suggest that we study for fourteen years before making our millions, but we can do the minimum and that is at least an hour’s Torah study a week. It’s time to get into shape both physically and spiritually!

When I was 23 years old my mother called me up and said “my dear son are you ready to date?” Until that age I had minimal contact with girls. I went to a boys-only school and I studied in Yeshiva. The only time I spoke to girls, was when I exchanged a Shabbat Shalom greeting with them in my father’s synagogue.

So I said to my mother “Well all my friends have just started dating so let me give it a shot.” My mother described the prodigy she had in mind- a kind-hearted, intelligent, attractive and generous young lady who came from an excellent family, However she was in Israel, so I’d have to leave New York to fly and meet her. Before my trip, I started calling around and doing a background check on this girl. I needed to be certain that on an intellectual level it was a fit. (Looking back now, I realize that there was very little that made sense, but hey, I was young and stupid, so I agreed.)

We went out on a couple dates and I thought it was going great. She really was an excellent girl and I found her company entertaining. After six dates, her mother called mine and asked “Nu when is the engagement party?” And so my mother called me and demanded, “Nu – it has been six dates - what are you waiting for?” I told her I really wasn’t sure yet. Although everything seemed to be going well, there was something very specific that bothered me about her. I could not make up my mind. I didn’t want to leave her hanging, so I called her up and told her that I couldn’t say no because I really liked her, but I was not quite ready to say yes either… That phone call turned out to be a big mistake.

Because when dating there are no maybes- it’s either a yes or a no. With age comes maturity, and the ability to either go ahead with the relationship or to end it right there.

When I think of my dating experience, I always wondered why G-d put me through such an ordeal. It is torturous to be indecisive. I was torn and utterly incapable of making a decision. After living in the Upper East Side for five years, the answer finally dawned on me. G-d made me go through all that so that I’d understand and empathize with others in the same position, namely, the singles of NYC.

A few months ago I decided to try my hand at matchmaking. I thought of a guy and girl who fit together, and started a texting conversation with the guy. Well, unfortunately, even rabbis make mistakes. I wrote, “I have a great match for you - a wonderful girl. I’d like you to date her. Please call me A.S.A.P.” But instead of sending the text to his phone, I texted it to my weekly Shabbat group, consisting of hundreds of people.

As you can probably imagine, within minutes my phone started ringing off the hook and text messages started flooding in. Here are three of the responses. A married father of three texted me, “Right now I am ok, but if anything changes, I will let you know.” Another married guy texted me, “Rabbi, this is why I love you!” And a woman married for barely a year texted me “Rabbi I just saw the text you sent my husband - is that what you think of me? My next text was a public apology explaining the mistake.

But in all seriousness, whenever I talk to singles there is one general issue. Boy dates girl. Boy likes girl. She is smart, attractive, and great company. But he cannot commit. At the back of his mind, a niggling doubt eats at him- maybe there’s someone better out there? Am I really in love? Maybe I will find a woman who will sweep me off my feet, a woman I will fall head over heels for? Maybe I should call the girl I dated two years ago and see where she is holding.

On the flip side, girls dating guys tend to think of grander issues, perhaps the economy. She thinks, maybe I should wait for the recession to end, then I’ll find a man who is managing a hedge fund and earning a million dollars a year. Or maybe this guy isn’t stable enough? Or intelligent enough? Will he be a good father? Maybe the timing is not right? Maybe I am not ready? All these maybes and what-ifs only serve to bog us down. The problem doesn’t even end in the dating arena, these concerns are carried forth into the marriage itself. Spouses often find themselves wondering if they made the right decision, because strangely enough, even after marriage commitment is a scary topic.

So how does one know that they made the right decision? The first thing that needs to be done is to pray to G-d to guide you to your other half. The next step comes with the realization that a marriage may be comprised of two separate bodies, but it involves only one soul. Practically, if you date someone, you need to first of all click on an intellectual level- i.e. the match needs to make sense. After that, if an emotional attraction develops it is time to take the leap. This is your sign that you have found the other half of your soul and now it is time to make the decision and marry.

The Torah describes Isaac’s nuptials in this week’s Torah portion of Chayei Sarah. Abraham’s servant, Eliezer, sought out Rebecca and deemed her to be the perfect wife for his master’s son as she was a woman of sterling character. It all made sense intellectually, so Isaac took a leap of faith. The Torah emphasizes that the love in their relationship blossomed after the marriage, “And Isaac brought her to the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her.”

Real love cannot precede commitment. When people don’t commit they are essentially conveying the message that they don’t consider their partner worth committing to. With each passing year of being together, the love becomes deeper and truer. So unless you have something specific to doubt, get married and indulge in one of life’s most rewarding journeys.

This week’s Torah portion of Vayera features Abraham’s recuperation after the ordeal of his circumcision. On the third day of his recovery, G-d paid Abraham a special visit to inquire after his health. In the middle of the conversation, Abraham spied three guests from afar, and without batting an eyelid, ran off to welcome them into his home. It is from this scene that the Talmud derives that the mitzvah of hospitality surpasses the mitzvah of greeting the Divine Presence.

Recently I was honored to experience my own hospitality.

Two years ago when visiting Israel I was informed that although I was not born there, I am required to have an Israeli passport since my parents are Israeli citizens. Furthermore, lack of Israeli citizenship will prevent me from exiting the country. So, immediately preceding my recent trip, I turned to the Israeli consulate and arranged for a brand new Israeli passport. Thus geared, I travelled to Israel on a Friday morning to perform a wedding. Being that it was so close to Rosh Hashana I booked a ticket back on Motsei Shabbat. I was neurotic that I would be detained at the airport over matters pertaining to army conscription, so I requested that the Israeli consulate verify if this would be the case. I was not worried about being drafted, but rather about going through mounds of paperwork releasing me from enlistment. I was assured dozens of times that I would have no problems whatsoever.

I landed in Israel at 5:30am and confidently strode to passport control. The woman at the desk must’ve had a really long shift because she literally fell asleep at the job. I jokingly cajoled her, “Long night?” to which she shook her head to wake herself up and very alertly declared that I had no ptur (army exit permission). My worst nightmare come true. I told her that back home I was assured I would not need one, to which she shot back that she did not care, I would not be exiting Israel without a ptur. She explained that on Sunday morning I shouldn’t have any problem presenting my case at the local army office, since they are closed on Friday and Saturday. Which meant that in the best case scenario I would be able to catch a flight back late Sunday, but the chances of getting on a plane then were rare since they were full due to the close proximity to Rosh Hashanah.  As I left her desk, I commented, “You Israelis suffer from an overdose of hospitality. You love your guests so much that you refuse to allow them to leave!”

Anyway, I saw there was nobody to talk to, so I left the airport to spend the morning on the phone talking to any connection I had instead of doing the things I wanted to do. Turns out that our chairman in shul, Gal and my brother Motti who is the chief of hand surgery in a hospital in Petach Tikva, are very well connected in the Israeli army. Within two hours they had arranged all my necessary documents. Thank G-d I was able to leave Israel and spend the holiday of Rosh Hashana in Manhattan with my community.

Each morning we recite in our prayers, “Rabot machshavot belev ish, ve’atzat Hashem hi takum” – “Many are the thoughts in the heart of man, but it is the direction of Hashem that will prevail.” Nothing happens without G-d’s intervention, every business venture we embark on, every personal matter we work on, will only come to fruition if it is the will of G-d. A man can prepare tirelessly for a project, yet he needs always to bear in mind that it is G-d’s divine assistance alone that determines success and blessing in life. My experience with this G-dly method of intervention saw me work tirelessly for days on end preparing the necessary documents. My very goal of smoothing things out with the Israeli officials was thwarted despite me doing everything I needed to. Because at the end of the day, G-d decides what's best. Just my luck that in my case, G-d just relished the idea of me experiencing first class Israeli hospitality!

I e-mailed somebody in our community a few weeks ago to say a quick “how are you”.  A few hours later he e-mails me back, “Rabbi how much do you want?” Shocked, I thought to myself, what has the world come to? Here I am emailing a very innocent e-mail and he responds, “How much do you want?!” So he explained and told me that he knows what would have happened – he would have replied, then I would reply in turn, a lighthearted conversation would ensue and eventually I would ask him to give charity in honor of Rosh Hashanah. So he was just saving me time by getting down to the point…

Our lives have become so fast paced we don’t even realize it. Time is scant, and so wasting it on frivolities such as greetings and niceties is a total misuse. When last did you step outside at 8am amidst the frenzied rush to get to work, only to notice the blossoming rose on your doorstep? How often have you brushed your child’s innocent queries aside in the name of an important deadline you simply cannot miss? The pressures of life often lead us to forget ourselves and the truly significant things in life. But as guilty as most of us are, it can’t be helped. Surely there must be an answer?

This week’s Torah portion of Noach presents the well-known tale of the flood that wiped out the corrupt society that inhabited earth at the time. The timelessness of Torah means that the 4000-year-old flood still holds relevance in our day and age and retains a lesson even for our ultra-modern generation. Each of us, at some point in our lives, finds ourselves drowning in a flood. The waters are created by the anxiety and stress of daily life: business deals don’t always go the way we planned; an argument with a spouse leads to frustration. The tumultuous whirlpools of these daily pressures threaten to engulf us and take us down. And through it all we find ourselves clutching at whatever we can get hold of, only to find we’ve been grasping at straws and sticks.

The key to floating, however, is to enter Noach’s ark. The word used by the Torah for ark is “teiva”, which also translates as “word”. Or more specifically, words of Torah. Just as Noach saved himself and his family by entering that structure, so too are we to enter the haven of Torah. Studying Torah, praying and living the mitzvot form the only boat sturdy enough to keep us afloat.

Ship ahoy!

As is customary on Sukkot, we had a few ushpizin or guests, over in our sukka. As she does every Friday night and Yom Tov, my five year old daughter lit her candles and made the blessing. One of the guests didn’t realize that girls start lighting at such a young age so she turned to ask Rosie how long she had been lighting. Rosie looked at her and without blinking an eye responded: “For thousands of years.” This guest was extremely moved and even  e-mailed me after the holiday saying that she was still amazed with my daughter’s response.

We are about to celebrate the wonderful and joyous holiday of Simchat Torah. When we dance with the Torah in the streets, we are celebrating the gift we were given thirty three hundred years ago. This is the celebration of our millennia old tradition. This is the Torah that has given us the strength and perseverance to continue onward. This is what gives us the ability to overcome our enemies.

Yesterday, like much of the Jewish world, I was watching the homecoming celebrations for Gilad Shalit in Israel. He is finally home and we no longer have the burden of worry hanging over us every day. When we pray to G-d every day to release our captives, we no longer have to add in Gilad ben Aviva. At the same time, I was also watching how the Arabs in Gaza were celebrating. They blatantly and with no shame proclaim as national heroes the murderers of men, women, and children. The contrast is stark. They draw their strength from hatred, and we draw ours from achdut, unity. Our power lies in the Torah. Our force emanates from the Shabbat candles that have helped to sustain us for thousands of years. It is this strength that we will all celebrate together on Simchat Torah. 

On this Simchat Torah, please come and dance with us in unity, in celebration of our Torah and our tradition, as we prevail together over the forces of darkness.

The death of one of our generation’s greatest intellectuals has come as a mighty blow. Without the genius of Steve Jobs, whom some have compared to Einstein, we would still be fixed in a limited communicative world devoid of iPads, iPods and iPhones. In 2005, Steve delivered an intriguing speech at a college graduation, during which he shared three personal stories. When I listened to the speech, I was greatly moved by these narratives and sought to apply them to my own life.

Story number one dates back to Steve’s conception and birth. His mother became pregnant while still in college and signed her baby up for adoption. When Steve’s adoptive parents were informed that a little boy was available, they initially weren’t interested since they had hoped to adopt a girl. In the end though, they decided to take in the little boy. In college, Steve had no bedroom in the dormitory and thus slept on the floor in a friend’s room. After just one semester, he dropped out of college and went on to establish what would eventually become Apple in the garage of his home.

Who would have imagined that this luminary of a man whose efforts and personality inspired millions around him originated from absolutely nothing!

Before Yom Kippur last week, I texted a community member asking “r u ready for the big day?” He replied that he was dreading the holy day since he had spent his whole year sinning. I explained to him that that is why we have Yom Kippur- G-d grants us the opportunity to resolve to become a better individual. If Steve Jobs could rise out of his “mistaken” conception to become one of the world’s most powerful people, how much more so can a sinner transform himself into the opposite. On Yom Kippur G-d declares, “It doesn’t matter who you were until now, what matters is the now.”

In the second story, Steve described how he almost single-handedly built Apple into what it is today. For ten years he slaved until the company was worth two billion dollars and had 4 000 employees. At age 30, he was fired from his own company and despite the hurt and rejection he experienced, he was determined to start over. Looking back, Steve described his dismissal as the best thing that ever happened to him because it freed him to do what he wanted. It was at that point that he resolved to put his life in order. He married the woman he loved and started being creative about his ideas. He founded two companies, one of which is Pixar, the world’s most successful animation studio.

When Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur loom on the horizon, Jews start to contemplate teshuva- repenting. The question is-- how is it done? Do we need to start keeping all 613 mitzvot overnight? No. What G-d wants from us is one mitzvah at a time. When you take too much on yourself, eventually you drop it all. So start with little changes. Come to shul more often. Make peace with an old rival. Help a needy person. The path of return must be trodden carefully and slowly.

Steve’s third story could probably have been related by a rabbi. When Steve was seventeen, he read the following quote: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." The saying made a huge impact on Steve and since then, for the past thirty-three years, Steve has looked in the mirror every morning and asked himself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

When Steve was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in 2004, his life expectancy was three to six months. It turned out to be a rare form of the disease that was curable, and so Steve lived on.

As morbid as it sounds, death awaits every man and every man should prepare accordingly. If you knew today was your last, would you spend an extra hour working in your office or would you rush home into the warm embrace of your loving family? Would you chase another million dollars or would you focus your concentration onto more meaningful endeavors such as tefillin, Shabbat and kashrut?

Steve’s passing has affected many. Millions of people are shattered by the crumbling of one of technology’s pillars, but personally, I mourn a precious individual whose grasp on life was so profound and so inspirational, one cannot help but be moved.

(An excerpt from Yom Kippur Speech at Chabad Israel Center)