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Thank you Hashem For Saving My Life!

Thursday, April 28, 2022 - 5:21 PM

Since all the kids were home from school last week, we decided to attempt a family chol hamoed trip. Trying to find a destination that will satisfy all ages, from teens to triplets, is no easy feat! With some convincing, we settled on the Nickelodeon amusement park at American Dream Mall.

Since I have a paralyzing fear of heights, we split up. I took the triplets around, and my wife went with the older kids. Taking the three little ones around is hard work, but I had a great time going on all the safe, slow baby rides. The carousel was my favorite!

But then my 8-year-old decided she wanted me to go on a ride with her. I asked which one, and she chose the swings. Well, swings sound safe enough, so I agreed. We got in line, and during the 45-minute wait I had ample time to observe and analyze, examine and fret. It seemed a little scarier than I had expected, but there were no ups and downs, just round and round, and I figured I could handle it.

So I hopped onto the ride, right next to my daughter Sara, psyching myself up. “You got this! You can do this!”

But then the ride began and my heart started pounding. It got higher and higher, then faster and faster, but when it started going up and down, that’s when all hell broke loose for me!

I started chanting every chapter of Psalms that I know and begged G-d to save my life. I made calculations about our survival chances based on where we might land, and how to best protect my daughter. We must have been 60 feet in the air!

Then every article I’ve ever read about amusement park rides gone wrong swam through my head. What if the swing snaps? What if we fall off?

My stomach was going up and down, and the faster we went the harder I prayed. “Stop! Please stop!” I begged. But of course no one could hear me over the ride.

Meanwhile, my daughter was having the time of her life!

When the ride finally stopped, I stumbled off, head spinning, trying to regain some iota of composure. I felt like I should stop and say Birkat Hagomel — the blessing said in front of the Torah to thank G-d for saving one’s life!

At the same time, I hear my daughter saying, “Tatty, Tatty, let’s go again!”

I realized she was serious and I muttered something about it being late and having to head home.

But a little later, when my heart calmed and my head stopped spinning, I started thinking. How can it be that the very same ride produces such wildly different outcomes? For me, the ride was torture, I was sure I was dying. But for my daughter, the faster and higher it went, the more fun she was having.

This, I realized, is the story of our lives. We’re all here on the ride of life for 120 years. And it’s no smooth sailing kiddie ride. There are ups and downs, and spins of all sorts.

We can choose to enjoy it, or we can choose to dread it.

How is it that my daughter feels so free to enjoy the ride? Because she trusts its operation. She knows someone built it, someone is operating it, someone is in control. This allows her to sit back and enjoy the thrills.

We, too, know that Someone created the world. We know He is operating it and in control of every moment of every day.

There are bumps, definitely. There are volatile ups and downs globally and in our personal lives. And it’s all too easy to lose sight of the fact that G-d is running it all. But if we can tap into that knowledge, and really feel His involvement, we can sit back and enjoy the ride.

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Uriel Vigler

My Car Accident With My Brand New Car

Thursday, April 14, 2022 - 9:57 AM

I’ve driven a minivan for the last 15 years. It’s a car that almost seems like it was made with Chabad families in mind. It’s not quite big enough for all of us, but it’s the closest to what we need, and we appreciate it daily.

Alas, my lease expired at the end of last year, and no new minivans were available. With the chip shortage and other supply chain issues, not to mention the growing popularity of car travel during all the shutdowns, there were simply no minivans to be had. So I extended the lease on my old car for the time being.

Recently the leasing department let me know that they have new cars, but they’re in short supply. Of course, I rushed over, not wanting to lose out, and turned in my old car for a brand new minivan.

The old car was in pretty bad shape. Three and a half years of driving and parking in NYC traffic will do that. Not to mention daily living with eight kids … Neither the exterior nor the interior were in anything close to mint condition.

So you can imagine how proud I was to drive out in our brand new shiny car. I gave my kids strict instructions that no food is allowed in the car until next week so we don’t even have to Pesach clean it. I was enjoying the new car smell, fresh, polished, clean, smooth leather, no scratches or dents, not a single crumb to be found … ahhh.

Now, every week Shevy and I go on a coffee date, and that was our first drive in the new car. We were on East 85th Street, waiting patiently for the light to turn green, chatting and having a good time, when out of nowhere we felt a tremendous boom! I got out of the car to see what had happened and realized that an elderly man pulling out of a parking lot hadn’t checked his rearview mirror and had plowed right into our brand new Honda minivan! Just our luck.

I was so frustrated. I’d been driving extra carefully and really did not need this on our first drive. It couldn’t have waited a couple of months?!

The whole side door was bent out of shape, knocked in, scratched. Thank G-d, Shevy and I were safe. The driver apologized and we took down his insurance information.

And as I recovered, I started to wonder what lesson I could take away from the experience.

Nothing in this world happens randomly. Everything is Divinely orchestrated. Yes, the elderly man was G-d’s agent to damage our newly minted vehicle on its very first ride, but he was just that—an agent. Hashem is the one in control. He’s the one who wanted this to happen to us.

Do I know what He was trying to tell me? What message He wanted to send? I do not. But perhaps it was this: “Hey, Vigler! Don’t be so proud of your new car. A car is just a tool to transport you from place to place. Focus more on going to the right places and doing the right things, and less on how you get there.”

We’re about to sit down for the Pesach Seder, where we thank Hashem for taking us out of Egypt, and redeeming us from our worries and pain. Every single day is a spiritual journey to get us to our destination.

Let’s focus on the critical components so that we experience Pesach in the best manner possible, and enjoy freedom in the truest sense of the word.

Chag sameach!

Beautiful Weekend In Palm Beach!

Thursday, April 7, 2022 - 1:53 PM

Last week, we spent a magical impromptu Shabbat with my brother and sister-in-law, and their community at Chabad of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.

I was in Miami for a meeting with our Belev Echad soldiers, scheduled to return to NY for Shabbat, but my wife suggested she and the kids join me for the weekend in Florida instead.

My initial reaction was “No way! How will you fly by yourself with all the kids?” But Shevy was determined and started looking for flights. Tickets were expensive, but she didn’t give up, and eventually found and booked very cheap ones—with a caveat: It was a Friday flight, landing in Miami airport, but since Shabbat came in late we would have enough time to make it to Palm Beach before Shabbat.

Somehow, Shevy made it to the airport with all eight kids! But once they were settled on the plane, the plane went nowhere.

One hour, and then another, they sat on the tarmac.

Finally, the pilot announced that they were delayed because of poor weather in Miami. Meanwhile, the weather in Miami was fine! I joked to Shevy, “Tell the pilot your husband is looking out the window in Miami and it’s perfectly clear and fine!”

The longer the plane idled, the more our window to get from Miami to Palm Beach before Shabbat shrank. But getting off the plane was not an option, so we hoped and prayed for the best.

It was nerve wracking, but we figured it’s just one weekend. We don’t normally do this. The discomfort will be short lived.

Finally, the plane took off, and I headed to the airport to meet them. I arranged to have a car pick us all up and rush us directly from Miami airport to Palm Beach before Shabbat, at the same time trying to come up with a backup plan in case we didn’t make it.

To make matters worse, traffic was terrible, and even once we made it into the car with all our luggage and all our humans (double counted to make sure we didn’t forget anyone!), we crawled.

And again, I reminded myself, “It’s just one weekend. Soon we’ll be home.”

Now, on Friday afternoon after Shabbat comes in, there is an additional 18 minutes until the actual onset of Shabbat, which can be used in urgent situations. We made it literally in the last minute of those 18 minutes. Whew!

My brother gave us a beautiful guest room, and the kids were supposed to sleep with their cousins. But as we settled in that night, one triplet decided to sleep with us, and then another and another… Soon enough, their older sister insisted on sleeping with us and their brother too. So we ended up sharing our room with five out of our eight kids!

As I crawled into my bed, trying not to step on anyone, I figured, “this is only for two nights; soon we’ll be home,” and I imagined my comfortable bed at home with all the kids sleeping in their own rooms.

In the morning, I woke up with kids everywhere and a crick in my neck, but again I consoled myself: “It’s only temporary.”

And then on Sunday our return flight was meant to land in NY early evening, so we could go straight home and put the kids to bed at a normal time. But alas, that Sunday thousands of flights were canceled, leaving thousands of people stranded, unable to return home.

Our flight kept getting delayed again and again and again.

Finally, we arrived home at 2am and put all the kids to bed. And all we could tell ourselves was, “This is just a weekend experience. Our kids had fun with their cousins, so it was worth it even with all the discomfort and inconveniences.”

And as I finally crawled into my bed, at home, with no kids in the room, I realized this entire trip had been a lesson for me. You see, we live in this world very temporarily—120 years if we’re lucky.

This is not our real home. We are only traveling, passing through. And so we need to focus on the real things; the important things. Things like amassing Torah and mitzvot. That’s what counts in our real home.

We can manage without the luxuries and creature comforts. We’re just traveling—we can manage with the essentials only.

Next week, when we sit around our Pesach Seder table and we proclaim, “Next year in Jerusalem!” — that is when we will finally be home!

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