I was in the middle of Shacharit this past Sunday morning when my cell phone rang. I didn’t answer it. It rang again.
Then I got a message: “Hi Rav, if you can call back please — Hatzalah related situation.” Then my wife texted me. Then a fellow shliach.
As soon as I finished the Amidah I called back. Our dear friend Debbie had passed away. I ran straight to their home.
How did we know Debbie? In 2016 I received a phone call from Charles Kaner. His parents, elderly Holocaust survivors, had moved to the Upper East Side with their wheelchair-bound daughter, Debbie, and were looking for friends. Our Chabad House was on their block, so he called me—the beginning of a deep and powerful friendship between the Kaner family and our community.
Our sages teach us that G-d only afflicts the people He truly loves. Well, He must have really loved Debbie. At the young age of 12 she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and confined to a wheelchair for over 50 years. Her medical issues were so vast and complex that she was regularly in and out of the hospital.
I visited her many times and saw her in shul often, but never once heard her complain. And she had much to complain about! So many medical issues, so many problems—she would have been justified in having many complaints against G-d! But she never gave up, never let the challenges quash her. Maybe she learned this from her parents who were holocaust survivors.
Whenever I saw her, she had her siddur which was full of notes—hand-written papers, bookmarks, notations, etc. I saw how she davened; she literally spoke to Hashem. Always with a smile, never missing an opportunity. When she couldn’t daven, she was distraught. She had an intrinsic connection with Hashem and spent much of her time listening to Torah classes.
When she was in the hospital or not feeling well, what were her worries? That she should be well enough to be in shul on shabbat morning! When she was in shul over Rosh Hashanah, what did she ask for? A machzor, so she could daven the unique Rosh Hashanah prayers. She loved coming to shul and she even loved my sermons—she used to tell me that often.
Debbie Kaner was a special soul. She taught us how to appreciate life despite any challenges we may have, how to love Hashem, and most importantly how to simply be happy.
So often when I visited her intending to inspire her, I was the one who came out feeling uplifted.
As a dear friend mentioned at the funeral, Debbie was always thinking about others. Whenever she called him, it was because one of her aides had a birthday or needed to be taken care of, never to complain about her own situation.
This past Sunday morning, the 13th of Tammuz, the day the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe was liberated, Debbie died peacefully in her sleep. Must have been Hashem taking His precious daughter back peacefully.
May the neshama of Chaya Mata Devora bas Eliezer and Rochel have an aliyah! May Hashem comfort the entire Kaner family with all other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem!