Last week, I drove my kids into the city. It was just me and six of them in the car. No wife with me.
They all climbed inside and I turned on the music for a nice, uneventful ride.
Well, the uneventful part was short-lived, to say the least. All of three minutes in, one of the triplets, Avigayil, started screaming and crying.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” I asked.
She didn’t answer, so I asked her triplet brothers.
“Yehuda pinched her,” Dovid said, explaining that she moved a couple of inches too close to him.
My options for dealing with the situation while driving were limited. Normally, when Shevy is with me, I drive and she deals with their fights. But here I was alone.
So I asked the older girls sitting in the middle row if I could move Avigayil up with them, so she wouldn’t be near her brothers. Unfortunately, they adamantly refused.
Oi gevalt! What now?
So I resorted to my next best option: bribery.
“Look, there’s a gas station about halfway there that sells kosher, chalav yisrael ice cream,” I told Yehuda. “There are only a handful like it in the whole country! If you behave and don’t pinch anyone else, I’ll buy you ice cream when we get there.”
He didn’t answer, but I saw he was listening and I know he loves ice cream. Surely, this would do the trick.
Feeling proud of myself, I continued driving. Avigayil had calmed down. Music was blaring. I breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m so good at this, I can do this,” I told myself.
Not 30 seconds later, Avigayil was again crying hysterically.
“What happened this time?”
“Yehuda pinched her and pulled her hair.”
Now what was I to do? I really needed my wife!
So I said, “Yehuda, look, I’ll give you one more chance. If you don’t pull anyone’s hair or pinch anyone, I’ll buy everyone ice cream. I know you all love ice cream! But this is your last chance. One more step out of line and nobody gets ice cream.
Avigayil calmed down and I breathed a sigh of relief. Baruch Hashem, thank you G-d!
Not 25 seconds passed before Avigayil was crying hysterically again. According to Dovid, Yehuda pinched her again and very hard!
That’s it! I pulled off the highway onto the shoulder meant for emergencies. This is definitely an emergency! I brought Avigayil to sit in the middle row with her sisters, away from the boys. That’s it. No more fighting, no more pinching. Out of arm’s reach.
And we continued on our way. This time, thank G-d, all was peaceful.
About 10 minutes from Manhattan, Yehuda pipes up, “Where is my ice cream?”
I was incredulous! I looked at them, all playing and chatting so nicely together, even him and Avigayil—no remnants of the pinches, hair pulling or screaming. Nada. As if nothing had ever happened, they were best friends all along, and he wants his ice cream!
How could it be? Half an hour ago they were ready to kill each other! Apparently, it had completely slipped his mind at this point!
I shook my head and realized what an incredible lesson there is for all of us to see here.
Children choose being happy over being right. Adults choose being right over being happy. Children can easily forget about their fights because they choose to be happy.
We are currently in the Three Weeks leading up to the destruction of the Holy Temple due to our infighting and hatred for each other. But imagine if we were more like kids. They fight, and then they’re OK. Five minutes later the fight is over and they want their ice cream.
What we need more than anything else in today's day and age is to learn from our children. Let the fights be forgiven and forgotten. We are all brothers and sisters. So what if we have disagreements? In this world, which is so divisive, we must learn to love one another.
Let's choose to be happy over being right. And in doing so, we will end the exile and bring about the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash—the third and final Holy Temple.