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Crazy Survivalist Prepares for Year-Long Flood

Thursday, 23 October, 2014 - 2:24 pm

Imagine if Noach were building his ark today. He brings his wood and equipment to the heart of Times Square and begins to build a massive sea-safe vessel in preparation for the flood that he claims will wipe out the entire world. Media headlines scream, “Crazy Man Builds Giant Ark,” and, “Delusional Man Claims G-d Will Destroy the World via Flood.” The newspapers would have a field day. 

Indeed, this is what Noach endured, albeit pre-Internet. It took 120 years to build the ark, and for all those years he faced constant mocking and ridicule. Had BBC, Al Jazeera, CNN and all the others existed, they would have hung Noach out to dry. 

A joke is told about a CNN reporter, BBC correspondent and Israeli commando captured by terrorists. The leader offered to grant each captive one wish before beheading them. 

The CNN reporter said, “Well, I'm an American, so I'd like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries.  The reporter ate it and said, "Now, I can die."

The BBC correspondent said, “I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.”

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, “Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in my face," said the soldier.

"What?” asked the leader, "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to please kick me in my face."

So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in his face and his back.

The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from under his jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he reached for his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all the terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you first?"

"What?" replied the Israeli, "and have you report that I was the aggressor?"

Now this joke would actually be funny if only it weren’t all too true.

This week the Jewish world watched in horror as an Arab terrorist rammed his car into a group of people waiting at a light rail station in Jerusalem, killing a three-month-old baby girl—Chaya Zissel—and wounding nine others, some critically. 

"Her parents waited for a child for many years…" said grandfather Shimon Halperin. He told of her parents' joy after she was born, and described how he enjoyed playing with his granddaughter during her tragically short life. The family was returning from the Kotel (Western Wall) when the attack happened. "The parents are in trauma and are trying to digest the news,” he said. 

The terrorist, a resident of the Silwan neighborhood with previous terror convictions, was shot by a police officer as he attempted to flee the scene. He is now in police custody. And the media has either completely ignored the incident, or published it as, “Israeli Police Shoot Man in East Jerusalem.” If that’s not the most ridiculous journalistic account of an event, I don’t know what is.

Imagine what the AP headlines would have looked like for Noach. “Noach Saves Only His Own Family,” or, “Selfish Man Leaves Everyone to Die,” or even, “Evil Man Floods the World.” 

Despite the years of ridicule, his faith in G-d never wavered. He knew G-d would bring a flood if the people didn’t repent, and that’s exactly what happened. He did not let the mockers get to him. 

Likewise, we know the truth and will not deviate from it. G-d gave us the Land of Israel, it’s our land and we will live in it. We will not succumb to terrorism, or to warped reporting. We will continue to defend our land, our families and ourselves, just like Noach. 

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