Over the summer we spent time upstate, and one Shabbat was particularly hot. Blistering. We had already walked to and from shul in the sweltering heat, so when my son asked to go and play with a friend, I had no strength to get up and go marching again. He begged and begged, so I told him maybe in a few hours.
He asked if he could go by himself, but I told him he was not allowed.
I went for a short nap and when I woke up, I realized he was missing. I figured he must have gone to his friend’s house for a play date on his own, even though I’d told him not to.
On my way to Mincha, I stopped at the friend’s house, and of course my son was there playing with a group of his friends.
I called him over and sternly reprimanded him for defying a direct order.
Yes, it worked out fine. It was a safe neighborhood, and he knew the way. But I told him not to go, and he went anyway.
And then I chatted with the parents of my son’s friend (who are friends of mine) while he went back to his friends.
Shortly before Rosh Hashanah I happened to bump into these friends again, and they reminded me about the incident. They said they couldn’t believe my son didn’t get into serious trouble. They asked their son to check, and were shocked he wasn’t grounded, punished, or had his toys taken away. Nothing beyond the initial severe reprimand. They were bowled away and inspired.
The truth is, the one thing our children need more than anything else is love, love, and more love. It’s critical. And not just children. It’s what we all need!
We just finished a beautiful and inspiring Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur is all about G-d forgiving us for our wrongdoings and starting over with a clean slate.
Did we sin? Yes. Are we perfect? Of course not. But G-d loves us more than anything. He treasures each of us like an only child. He knows what we did and He forgives us, with no residual punishments. And then He goes on loving us.
Next week we celebrate Sukkot. When we sit in the Sukkah, surrounded on all four sides, it’s like a giant hug from G-d.
Let’s do the same for our children!