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A Simple Wrap. An Irreversible Awakening.

For the last 10 years, Jack has walked through the doors of our Chabad house once a year: on the High Holidays. That’s it. He’ll smile, shake hands, and then disappear for the next 12 months.

Until he chanced upon my teenage son and a group of his yeshiva friends who set up a small folding table outside our Chabad house every Friday afternoon, offering passersby the opportunity to put on tefillin.

 Jack, he said yes. Although the interaction was brief (he wrapped the tefillin, said Shema, and continued on with his day), something stayed with him.

So he came back the next Friday. And the Friday after that. It became a steady part of his week, anchoring him to something larger than himself.

Then the boys left for Israel to continue their studies and nobody else took over their Friday afternoon tefillin stand. If anyone else missed them, we don’t know, but Jack did. And he kept reaching out. Because once your soul tastes something real, it doesn't forget.

Sometimes I would go out specially, just to put on tefillin with him. Then Jack had an epiphany. “If I can't find the tefillin,” he decided, “then I'll become the one who brings them.” And so, with the help of our assistant rabbi, Rabbi Zalman Lew, Jack acquired his own pair of tefillin.

Now he isn’t limited to once a week or when he chances upon somebody with a pair who offers him the opportunity. Now he can put on tefillin, on his own, every single day, deepening his connection with Hashem.

When we launched our daily minyan this year, I asked Jack if he'd join us on Friday nights. He said yes, and hasn't missed a single one. He also attends Rabbi Lew's weekly Tuesday night Torah class, showing up just as faithfully.

Every Friday night when I see him in shul, I ask the same question: “Did you put on tefillin every day this week?”

And every week, without hesitation, he confirms: “Yes.”

My son and his friends thought they were helping people do a one-off mitzvah. They had no idea they were building a fire that would keep burning long after they were gone.

So often we have no idea of the lasting impact of our actions.

We think we invited someone for a one-off Shabbat meal. We may even forget about the visit entirely. But perhaps that person was so enamored with the experience that they started staying home on Friday nights instead of going out, maybe they started lighting Shabbat candles, or maybe they then invited someone else for Shabbat and kept the chain of inspiration going.

Nor do we see the lasting power of a kind and encouraging word. You never know what compliment will propel someone to overcome the next difficult thing that comes their way. Likewise, it’s easy to brush off a sharp word or sarcastic joke we make at another’s expense. What we don’t see is how that remark stays with them and shapes who they are and how they interact with the world.

Many people are quick to brush off the once-a-year Jews like Jack. But every time Jack came to High Holiday services, he was nourishing his soul and reviving his connection with the Creator. And after 10 years he was ready for the next step, tefillin, which led to becoming a regular at Friday night services … and who knows what’s next?

When it comes down to it, no mitzvah is small and no interaction is minimal. What we see is just the very beginning of what’s to come.

I Lost a Million Dollars This Week!

I was on the phone with a member of our Belev Echad team in Israel the other day, discussing the needs of our wounded soldiers, when a second call started coming in.

I glanced at my screen to see who was calling and I froze.

It was the wife of a billionaire, one of the most well-known women in America.

My mind raced and I politely wrapped up my call so I could pick up hers.

“Hi, Uriel,” she said.

Not “rabbi.” Not “Rabbi Vigler.” Just … Uriel. Wow! How did we get to first-name basis so fast? Amazing!

While I’ve never spoken to this woman directly before, we are definitely connected. She has hosted our Belev Echad wounded soldiers multiple times: they’ve sailed on her private yacht, been wined and dined by their private chef, and ridden in her husband’s Rolls-Royce.

I’ve sent her pictures and videos and thanked her multiple times by text, and tried calling her a few times without success.

So, we start chatting. She’s extremely warm and friendly, right off the bat. “This is it; this is how it happens,” I think. In my head, I’m already thinking maybe she is interested in purchasing two new rehabilitation centers for our wounded soldiers.

I’m waiting for it and then it comes: “Uriel, I’m working on a project in Jerusalem. It’s a brand new swimming pool and I’d love for you to donate.”

Well, there’s a plot twist I wasn’t expecting! But I recover quickly.

“Wow, I’m honored you thought of me. I could probably do $360. How’s that?”

Silence.

Not a good silence.

“Uriel … come on. The funds involved here are a lot more than that.”

Now I’m confused.

I say, “Just to clarify … you know who you’re calling, right? This is Rabbi Uriel Vigler. I am the founder of Chabad Israel Center and Belev Echad for wounded IDF soldiers.”

“Oh my G-d! I meant to call a different Uriel!”

Somewhere out there is another Uriel living a very different life. A life where billionaires call asking him for donations. Oh, the irony!

She’s apologizing profusely. I’m laughing. What else can you do?

Then I have an idea. “Listen,” I say, “it’s not a mistake that we ended up on the phone today. It’s Divine providence. We need funds for our wounded soldiers in Israel. Maybe you can support us?”

But she politely declined. “No, I can’t donate right now.”

Later, I tried to see the lesson in our exchange.

For a moment, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. I saw her name on my phone and something inside me jumped. This is it. This is the call. A million dollars is about to come our way. I was already imagining everything we could accomplish. New rehabilitation centers, more soldiers helped, more lives changed.

I went from the highest high to the lowest low, but the truth is, none of it was real to begin with.

This is not a unique experience. We spend years chasing things that feel so real - money, success, comfort, recognition. But they are fleeting. Here today, gone tomorrow.

The only thing that is real and lasting and true is G-dliness. The only things we can truly own are Torah and mitzvot. Everything else can disappear in an instant.

Money, power, position, admiration, success - none of these belong to us. They are on loan.

Everything we have - and everything we don’t have - is exactly what Hashem has chosen for us.

We can’t control any of it. Not the faster line at the grocery store. Not the perfect deal. Not even the million-dollar donation.

The only things we can truly own - the things we can take with us into the World to Come - are the Torah we learn, the mitzvot we do, and the lives we touch. So that’s what we should focus on accumulating. Because when you have that, no one can take it away.

 

I Planned the Perfect Chol Hamoed… My Kids Completely Shut It Down

All our kids were home for Pesach, thank G-d, a real treat that doesn’t happen very often. The last time was six months ago!

Having a big family means that with everyone home comes plenty of noise and chaos. But overriding that is a sense of completeness that makes it all worthwhile.

Yom Tov was wonderful. Good food, interesting guests, some fighting, lots of laughter.

Then came Chol Hamoed. And in our family, Chol Hamoed trips always follow a very precise path: Wake up. Go daven. Learn something. Then I say, “Okay, everyone in the car, let’s go!” And everything falls apart.

“Where are we going?” they demand.

I say my classic line: “How about the zoo?” And there is an immediate and unanimous outcry. “Boring! We’ve been there a million times!”

So I turn to ChatGPT for ideas, and it delivers enough suggestions for a three-volume tourist guide. American Dream Mall. Boating. Museums. Hiking. Tourist attractions. Ideas for days.

But for every idea, half the kids are in, half the kids are out, and inevitably someone is personally offended that I even suggested it.

At this point, it’s 2:00 PM, and I pull out my last remaining parenting strategy: “Everyone get in the car, I’m taking you somewhere fun and I’m not telling you where.”

The younger ones come but the older ones look at me like, “Nice try. We’ve seen this trick before.”

But we go, we come back, and it’s fine. Repeat annually.

Trying to avoid a repeat, I came prepared this year. Three days of Chol Hamoed, three days of activities: Ziplining. Horseback riding. Maybe a shooting range.

The first day, I walked in confidently. “Everyone ready? We’re going ziplining.”

Silence.

Then one kid piped up, “I don’t want to go.” Then another and another. “I’m not going.” “Not interested.” “Sounds scary.” “Sounds boring.”

No problem, I thought, I’ll substitute tomorrow’s plan.

“Okay! Backup plan—horseback riding!” I announced.

Same response. “No.” “Nope.” “Absolutely not.”

So I go back to my old reliable option, the zoo, and predictably, am met with a perfect choir of nos.

And now, despite my best efforts and pre-planning, we’re back where we always are: 1:00 PM Chol Hamoed with no consensus and no direction. Ideas are being thrown around rapid fire and being shot down just as quickly.

After going in circles for two hours, one kid says, “Why don’t we just go back to the place we went last year?”

Chelsea Piers, bowling, laser tag. It wasn’t new or exciting, but it elicited the most interest of any suggestion thus far.

So we went. We bowled. We played laser tag—boys vs. girls. (It was very competitive. I will not disclose the results for the sake of shalom bayit.)

Then, later that night, we went to an escape room. Also not new. Also something we did last year. Also amazing.

The next morning, we were back at it. “What are we doing today?” I braced myself for the onslaught. But then one of the kids said, “Why don’t we just go back?” So we did. And the next day as well.

Three days of bowling and laser tag at Chelsea Piers.

We live in a world obsessed with new. New trips. New experiences. New thrills. We think if it’s not new—it’s not exciting or important or valuable.

But these three days taught me something I didn’t expect: Joy doesn’t come from newness, it comes from presence. We did the same things each day, but the experience was different each time.

And I realized there’s an important lesson from my experience. We all agree that it’s important to be constantly growing and learning and increasing in our Jewish observance. But sometimes that translates to the assumption that we need to keep piling on new practices, which quickly becomes overwhelming and hard to sustain.

But there is value in repetition. Instead of committing to davening shacharit, mincha, and maariv every day, and then crashing after a week and dropping it all, commit to one—whichever one you feel you can sustain—for 30 days. Then increase it for another 30 days, and so on, until it becomes ingrained.

Or take a mitzvah you already do, and add more intention and spirituality to it. Say you already pray shacharit every morning, but you’re racing through the words mindlessly with your head already in your first meeting of the day. Instead of piling on more practices or prayers, slow down and focus on the words you’re already saying. It may feel less exciting, but that’s where the real growth and peace of mind happen.

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