This weekend, Shevy and I will celebrate the bar mitzvah of our beloved son Mendel. We are exceedingly grateful to the Almighty G-d for allowing us to reach this precious milestone.
How 13 years have flown by so quickly is beyond me. It feels like just yesterday that Mendel was born. I remember the day so clearly. It was a Shabbat morning and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to be able to do the (fortunately rare) mitzvah of saving a life superseding Shabbat—i.e., calling a taxi and driving to the hospital on Shabbat, still in my tallit. The bris was also on Shabbat, and now, 13 years later, his bar mitzvah again falls on Shabbat.
So, why are we so happy?
- For one, the moment I walk into shul from now on, I’ll be bringing 20 percent of the minyan with me! How many times on a late summer afternoon or early Friday night do I find myself desperately searching for a 10th man for our minyan? So often our congregants ask why my sons can’t be counted and solve the dilemma. Well, now he can!
- Moreover, I am thrilled because I will no longer be punished for his sins. Until bar or bat mitzvah, the responsibility for anything a child does wrong is transferred to the parents. Now, trust me, I have enough of my own sins to carry around, so I am grateful to be making the blessing, “Blessed are You, Hashem, Who has taken away my punishments.” Now considered a man, my son will be responsible for his own actions. Which means I now only have six kids’ burdens to carry!
- For the past year, I have been studying daily with Mendel to help him master a maamar (chassidic discourse) by heart. I have spent hundreds of hours (I kid you not!) reviewing it with him. He will recite it from memory at his bar mitzvah. I deeply value all the one-on-one time we’ve spent on this—bonding, learning, talking, arguing, but I must say I’m kind of appreciating all the free time I now have!
- I’ve also spent tens of hours teaching Mendel how to read from the Torah, how to lead the services, and how to read the haftara. So I’m thrilled to have another “rabbi” in the house, who can help out whenever needed.
- Most importantly, though, is that Mendel has now has become a full fledged member of the Nation of Israel. By turning 13, he has received the G-dly soul in all its glory. Words cannot describe the joy I feel when I look at my son and know that he is now linked to his father, grandfather, and great grandfather in an unbroken chain all the way back till Abraham. As my son accepts upon himself to fulfill Torah and Mitzvot, it is as if he is receiving the Torah again directly from G-d Himself!
I remember myself as a shy, young, innocent 13-year-old boy, marking the milestone of becoming a fully fledged adult. That day is engraved indelibly in my memory. It is the day I read from the Torah for the first time, the day I accepted the yoke of heaven upon myself and became permanently connected to my heritage, my faith, my ancestors, and to my G-d. Watching my son Mendel go through the same process is beyond joyful!
We are immensely grateful to his teachers at Yeshiva Ketana of Manhattan who do such a superb job, together with the menahel and the entire staff, and his counsellors and learning teachers in camp.
So, I bless you, my dear son Mendel, that G-d give you the wisdom, understanding, and knowledge to make the right decisions in life. As you become an adult in this turbulent world, may you shine your light out into the world, overcome the hurdles you will inevitably face, and develop a deep love and appreciation for Torah and mitzvot. May you be able to fulfill the Torah and mitzvot with a smile and true happiness, and may you be blessed to inspire others with your charm, personality, and grace!
May you become a chassid, G-d fearing person, and a lamdan!
Rabbi Uriel Vigler