A couple of weeks ago, I dropped my 14-year-old son at his new high school, called a mesivta. This is a new stage for him—he’ll be living in a dormitory with his classmates, instead of at home with us, where he has spent the last 14 years.
The school is about an hour from our house—not too far—and he’ll be able to come home quite regularly and we’ll be able to visit him. I know he has friends there, he’s learning and growing, and seems ecstatic with his newfound independence.
And yet, my heart feels empty now that he is not living at home with us anymore. No, the house isn’t quiet and we aren’t empty nesters—our seven other children are all still home with us.
But I remember when I left to yeshiva as a teenager. I didn’t realize when I left that I wouldn’t ever really live at home with my parents again. Although I visited home for holidays or when the yeshiva was on break, I had, essentially, moved out for good. And now, with my son, I feel like a piece of my heart has left, more or less for good, much as I did.
I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I’m thrilled that he’s on his way to adulthood, spending his days in a holy, safe environment, with his peers, good teachers, and a very full schedule. But at the same time, I miss him! When I walk past his empty room on my way to bed each night, there’s a pang in my heart.
Truthfully, however, this is my duty as a parent: to raise my child, nurture him, watch him grow and gain independence, and give him the skills to go out into the world and make his own life.
The same way we feel about our children, is how G-d feels about us. He loves us all as if we were each His only child.
At this time of year, with Rosh Hashanah on the horizon, it’s time for all of us to come home. Home to our Loving Father who is waiting to greet us with open arms. He misses us. We may have meandered away throughout the year, but now it’s time to come back.
That feeling we get when our children come home—which I will feel when my son comes home for Rosh Hashanah next week!—that’s how G-d feels when we reconnect with Him. So let’s get ourselves into the spirit of that homecoming, so we can enjoy Rosh Hashanah in His full embrace.