My business is to inspire people, and I spend literally hundreds or thousands of hours doing just that: teaching Torah, giving sermons, writing blogs, sending emails, organizing Chanukah parties and Purim parties, conducting Pesach Seders and blowing Shofar, even posting on social media … you get the picture.
Years ago, we met *Yankel and *Sara. They started attending our Chabad services, holiday paties and events, and I, of course, tried my best to show them the beauty and warmth of Judaism. With time, we became close friends with Yankel and Sara and their extended family.
Recently, Sara confided in me that there was one thing early on that truly inspired her.
It was a cold Friday night and Yankel and Sara were guests at our Shabbat dinner. My two boys were playing ball with their child, right by the dining room table.
I was eating my chicken soup, deep in conversation, when suddenly my son threw the ball at the wall, and it rebounded straight into my soup!
Talk about aim and precision – he must have a really good hand!
Sara watched, waiting for my reaction. She expected me to take my son to the next room and give him a good beating or severe punishment. At the very least, a stern rebuke!
But no, she said. All I did was remove the ball from my soup, wipe off my shirt with a napkin, and continue the conversation as if nothing had happened. She was flabbergasted! Where was my reaction? Where was the rebuke?
So why did I do what I did? More than anything else, our kids need love. There is no such thing as too much love. No way to spoil by loving too much. No matter how much love you give, they're always ready for another dose.
Of course, a few days later when you're calm you can have a conversation about not throwing balls into chicken soup. In this case, I don’t even think I had that conversation. My son did not do it on purpose, and I am sure he realized on his own that he made a mistake by throwing the ball in my soup. Anger or a lecture would have played no constructive purpose.
I once heard that every rabbi has only one sermon – it’s the way you lead your life. No matter how many hours we spend preparing and delivering the perfect sermon, it's not a reliable way to actually effect change. The only true way to inspire is by example.
When we show love, that inspires others to show love, and so on.
So go out today and be a shining example to your friends and family.
Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Uriel Vigler