In shul last Sunday morning, Simon* came up to me and asked, “Rabbi, did you prepare your speech on Shabbat morning?” Hmm…where is this conversation headed, I wondered. How should I respond?
“Yes, Simon, I spent many hours preparing my speech as I do every week,” I explained. “I consider it a duty but also a privilege to inspire people on Shabbat morning. There are so many other places they could be; if they’re dedicating their time to shul, the least I can do is respect their time and prepare a good talk.”
Well, Simon started ripping into me. “Your speech made no sense! You need to spend more time preparing. You don’t really know what you’re talking about and your ideas don’t flow or connect.”
Gotta love how comfortable my congregants feel to share their thoughts and feelings!
The truth is, after shul on Shabbat another congregant, Yankel*, came over and said, “Rabbi! That was one of the best sermons you’ve ever given. I’m so inspired! I’m really going to try and change because of what you said.”
Now, here’s the thing. Of course, Yankel’s feedback is any rabbi’s dream. Inspiring people is one of the most challenging tasks, and getting people to take action just from a speech is virtually impossible. So Yankel’s feedback was deeply gratifying.
But was I upset at Simon? Not at all. You see, their responses seem completely opposed, but you’d be surprised just how close they actually are. The common denominator is that they were both listening attentively. Probably 95 percent of people go directly into snooze mode whenever they hear a sermon, Torah class, or lecture. Their eyes may be open, but their minds are far away. Yankel and Simon, however, were both in that minority 5 percent paying close attention!
In life, there are three categories. The Yankels who listen and get inspired. The Simons who listen and argue. And then the remaining vast majority who simply snooze.
When your spouse screams at you, do you nod attentively, do you scream back, or do you ignore?
When you hear a lecture, when you attend a conference, when you go to school, as you live your life, who are you? A Yankel? A Simon? Or the 95 percent of people?
Even this email … the Yankels love it, the Simons don’t agree with a word it says, and 95 percent of people hit delete as soon as they see the subject line!
Judaism demands passion, chayus, energy. Whether you agree or disagree, at least you’re engaged. The danger lies in apathy and nonchalance.
So be a Yankel, or even be a Simon. Just don’t let yourself fall into the disengaged majority.
*Names changed to protect privacy