Just last Shabbos, I was venting to a couple of friends that I was feeling a little frustrated. I was recapping the year: We had reached out to thousands of singles, organized for them countless Shabbat dinners, a cruise, a Lag Baomer BBQ, Chanuka and Purim parties, picnics, etc etc. One of the purposes is that they should find shidduchim and eventually marry each other. Yet the famous Manhattan Jewish singles scene seemed not the least bit dented by all of my heroic efforts.
Well, three days later, I was riding on a subway minding my own business, deeply captivated by my blackberry, when I hear the guy sitting next to me asking “Are you Rabbi Vigler?” When I confirmed my identity, he said that he had been looking for a shidduch for many years and wasn’t able to find one. About a year ago, he had signed up to one of our popular Friday night dinners. “I met an amazing girl there, and I just thought I should tell you that we just gotten engaged…”
Now this was a complete coincidental meeting. I mean what are the odds of sitting next to a guy on the train that knows your name? And if not for that chance encounter, (which we call divine providence) I would never know that I was indirectly responsible for making his shidduch!
Yet the message is not, to talk to strangers on the MTA. It is to keep on trying even when you do not see the fruits of your labors. Because we are human, and we never will see the whole picture. But it is the effort that counts.
Keep on dating. Keep on trying to set your friends up no matter how many disastrous dates you are responsible for. The other half of your soul is waiting for you. All you need to do is make a little effort, go out and search for him/her and with G-d’s help you WILL be successful!
Sigal wrote...
This story is very beautiful and I wanted to take the opportunity and thank you for keep sending me your emails, maybe I should go your direction to finally find my soul mate. Indeed a big mitzvah you commit as well as many others. Thank u for who you are,
Shabbat Shalom,
SigaL M.
R. wrote...
Shoshana-Dvora wrote...
You seem sincerely concerned about helping singles get married, so I am going to attend your shul more often.
What bothers me about thisstory is that if the young man hadn't run into you on the subway, I wonder if he would have called you to inform you of his engagement, and to thank you for making it possible? I knew a couple in LA who gave big singles parties 2 or 3 times a year,at their expense ( I hear that after the husband"s death, the wife continued the tradition). They didn't expect invitations to weddings, but merely to be informed fo the engagement. Well, one day at Shabbat lunch a guest made a comment about the upcoming wedding of Ploni and Plonit, and mentioned how they first met at one of this couple's parties. The wife was truly hurt! THIS COUPLE HAD FAILED TO CALL HER OR HER HUSBAND TO INFORM THEM!!! I thought this was truly ungrateful behavior.
Rabbi Vigler, if you introduce me to my bashert ( and make him realize I'm his bashert ), I commit to:
1. CALL you to Inform you of the engagement, and thank you for making it happen. I won't wait to run into on the subway.
2. To sponsor a kiddush,
3. Invite you to the wedding .
Shabat Shalom