The Missing Ketubah

Several months ago I officiated at the wedding of a couple in our community. Everything was perfect- both aesthetically and spiritually. I wrote the Ketubah (marriage document) which was then signed by two witnesses in exact accordance of Torah law. I stressed to the bride and groom that the Torah requires a married couple to be in possession of their Ketubah at all times. Furthermore, the precise location of the ketubah must be known to both of them.

After the Chupah I carefully handed the Ketubah to the mother of the bride, charging her with the task of guarding it for the duration of the celebration. Sure enough, ten days after the bash, the happy couple called me with the news of their lost Ketubah. I implored them to search high and low, stressing the importance of finding it.  They looked everywhere, even returning to the wedding hall. They spoke to each family member, perhaps someone had accidentally taken it. Alas, their efforts bore no fruit, the ketubah had simply vanished!

According to Jewish law, the solution of last resort is to write up a new document. Since it is preferable to stick with the original, I appealed to the couple to give it one more shot. Months passed until we eventually had no choice but to set a date for the new Ketubah signing. Days before we were scheduled to meet, I received a call from the bride who excitedly exclaimed that the Ketubah had been found.

What she told me reminded me of the rabbi who performed a Bar-mitzva ceremony for one of his congregants. Among the expensive gifts the boy received was a costly silver Kiddush cup in which he took great pride. Fifteen years later, the boy returned to the same rabbi to be married. As they were going over the logistics of the wedding, the Chatan could no longer contain himself. He told the rabbi that the precious Kiddush cup had gone missing at the Bar-mitzva fifteen years ago, and that every guest had been searched at the hall save the rabbi. Did the rabbi perhaps have any knowledge of the cup? “Of course,” responded the rabbi. “I placed it in your tefillin bag!”

It turns out the Ketubah was found in the Chatan’s tallit bag!

Besides for being amusing, this story brings out an important concept relating to the time period we are now in. During the month of Elul, the Chassidic masters teach that we are all searching for a lost article. That article is our soul which, during the year, has vanished beneath a pile of spiritual dirt and debris.

Every lie, every sin, every transgression paints an ugly black streak on our souls, contaminating it beyond recognition. Yet G-d grants us the full month preceding the Day of Judgment to start clearing the mess and locating our pure souls.

The problem for most of us though, is that as hard as we try, we can’t seem to find that elusive spark. We keep searching in the wrong places, trying to fill that gaping hole inside of us. We often feel that the best course of action is to “take time out” or “chill;” mistakenly thinking that baseless enjoyment is just what the soul needs. But I have yet to meet someone who spiritually soared after splurging on a brand new Lexus. Because the truth is, all our soul requires is a little nourishment…of the spiritual sort. The soul is always found in the simplest of places-- a Torah class, laying tefillin, lighting a Shabbat candle or in that old, unused tallit bag.