Kol Nidrei, the prayer which ushers in the holy day of Yom Kippur, is perhaps the most famous one in our liturgy. It is a prayer that deals with promises, vows and other sorts of verbal commitments commonly made in the course of the year. The Torah places strict demands on keeping one’s word, and not fulfilling a vow is considered a serious misdeed.
About three years ago, there was a girl by the name of Tali who was very involved in our community. She used to come every single Shabbat and she became a beloved member of our congregation. She was the one who set up the Kiddush and who Shevy and I always knew we could turn to. In fact she was so close with my family that when my son Mendel was born on Shabbat morning and we needed somebody to watch my daughter Rosie, Tali was the person we called.
Like many Israelis in the area she was trying to find her spouse. After two years of searching and dating, New York just didn’t seem to be the right place for her. It simply wasn’t going anywhere. She kept on dating but felt that while there were many guys “on the market”, they too had many options available to them and for that reason were not able to commit to a firm relationship. The truth is that I agreed with her that this is a problem in Manhattan. Since there is such a wide variety of options for men and women some people have a hard time settling on one person. In the back of their minds they are thinking that perhaps there is something better out there.
During one of our many conversations I assured her that every single person has a soul mate in the world and that her spouse is out there somewhere. The Talmud states that forty days before a child is born it is announced whom it will marry. In fact I even promised her that when she did find her husband I would personally perform her wedding!
Well when I gave her my word I didn’t realize that she would get married at the busiest time of the year for me. Her wedding is this coming Friday at 1pm in Israel. It’s a week before Rosh Hashana and our office is extremely busy. On Saturday night we begin to recite the Selichot prayer! I have to be in our very own shul the Shabbat before Rosh Hashana!
However, like we read in the Yom Kippur liturgy, a word is a word and so I am boarding a plane right now to Israel to fulfill my promise to her. My flight arrives right before the wedding and I am taking the first flight out of Israel on Saturday night. I will have been there literally 24 hours… but a promise is a promise!
Let us all fulfill the promises and vows that we have made during the year so that we can stand before G-d with a clean slate ready for the High Holidays!!!