This week my daughter Rosie came home from school unusually excited. What would a five-year-old girl typically be excited about? A birthday party… a new art project… anything pink and glittery… But no, my Rosie was excited about something completely different: A mission. A task. An assignment.
She pulled out a book of raffle tickets from her school and got right to work. School wanted her to raise some money? She was determined to do it.
Now, I’m no stranger to fundraising. In fact, it takes up a big chunk of my time and energy. But as I watched Rosie tackling her assignment, something just didn’t add up.
Here’s my five-year-old daughter, completely new to fundraising, and her raffle tickets are selling like hotcakes! No one said “no”. The teachers in the preschool, the parents picking up their children, everyone she approached bought at least one ticket.
Then there’s me, always trying to raise money for our Chabad center. I’ve been at it for years. And time after time I hear, “maybe,” “not now,” “a different day” or just plain “no”.
Of course, my daughter’s raffle tickets involve much less investment than supporting one of our programs. But there must be more to it.
Our sages say, “Words which come from the heart, enter the heart.” If a person asks another to do a mitzvah, and truly asks with his or her whole heart, it is almost impossible for the other person to refuse.
My daughter, in her young innocence, truly believes everyone around her is just waiting for the opportunity to support her school. And how can anyone resist such heartfelt certainty?
If only we could all learn from Rosie’s purity of heart! How much easier our lives would be…
Interestingly, a friend recently approached me with a problem. He explained that although he doesn’t consider himself religious, it is important to him to make Kiddush on Friday nights. Unfortunately, his wife is extremely bothered by his tradition and makes sure to busy herself with the children whenever he begins the prayer. Understandably, he finds her behavior hurtful.
I suggested that at the height of his frustration, he should take a deep breath, tell his wife that he loves her, and then continue with his Kiddush. I explained that the only way to truly influence a person is with love; real love and concern for the other person.
I’ve come to realize that when I ask someone to put on tefillin, or do any other mitzvah – including charity – if that person refuses, the fault lies in me, not in the other person. Because when I truly love the other person with all my heart and soul, he or she will not be able to refuse.
And this is what Moses demonstrates in Parshat Beshalach which we read this week. Moses was a true leader. Even when his people gave him a hard time, he did not abandon them.
Moses had taken the Jewish people out of their exile in Egypt, freed them from slavery, led them through the desert, split the sea and yet they were ungrateful. They had just witnessed some of the greatest miracles in the history of the universe, but still they complained.
“We have no water; we will die out here…”
So Moses gave them water.
“We have no food; we should have stayed in Egypt…”
So Moses gave them Manna from heaven.
Throughout his years of leadership, more than forty long and hard years, Moses remained dedicated and loving towards his people. He defended them. He taught them. He encouraged them. But most of all, he loved them unconditionally.
He showed us what true leadership entails: he taught us to love one another without reservation.
Cristiane wrote...
Cristiane wrote...