With the end of summer, the High Holiday spirit takes over, and we find ourselves entering a different, more serious, frame of mind. It’s a time to make personal character improvements and up the ante on our religious observance. The impending Days of Awe motivate us to make changes both temporary and lasting.
My friend Steve* shared his High Holiday “technique” with me. “I don’t want to speak any lashon hara for at least the one day of Yom Kippur,” he explained. “Whenever I’m awake and around people I end up gossiping, so right before the fast begins I drink enough wine to send me into a deep sleep. By the time I wake up the following afternoon, it’s time for Neila, and I’m able to go the entire 24 hours without saying any lashon hara.”
Now, while I don’t condone Steve’s behavior, I do understand and appreciate his determination to do things differently in honor of the Holidays.
Last year a member of my congregation confided in me that he was terrified of Yom Kippur. When I asked him why, he began to list the many sins he had done over the year, including some pretty severe ones. But come Yom Kippur and he was at the synagogue praying fervently and sincerely, like the purest man on earth. I told him, “The man I see today is the real you. This is who you are at your core. The man who sinned last year, that wasn’t really you. Embrace your true self.”
It’s typical to wonder, “How can I stand before G-d, on the holiest days, knowing just how many bad things I did over the course of the year?” We consider it hypocritical. But it’s not hypocrisy; it’s reality. We all battle the good and evil forces inside ourselves. Deep down, we want to do the right thing, but sometimes we are swayed by temptation.
It’s important to remember that we maintain our intrinsic connection to G-d regardless. He loves us unconditionally, and we love Him back. Sometimes that love hides, and we lie, cheat, slander, steal, etc. But come the High Holidays, and all that fades away and our essence is revealed. The person praying in the synagogue on Rosh Hashanah – that is who we really are at our core.
This is the time of year we need to ask ourselves, “Who is the real me? And how can I get that real me to stick around beyond the High Holidays?”
But the first step is to reveal the “real” person within us, the one who prays on Rosh Hashanah. First we need to show G-d our deep love for Him. And when we blow the shofar, we’ll remind G-d, and ourselves, of the eternal covenant He made with us, and His promise to never separate from His people.
Let’s make sure we’re our “real” selves when we coronate G-d as our King on Rosh Hashanah this year.