Why Did Grandma Cut Me Out of Her Will?

It was a rainy day; wet and cloudy, and I was on my way to give my weekly Torah class at 8am. Before I knew what had happened, I found myself flat on my back on the floor of the subway platform. Ouch! But as I took a deep breath, registering my fall, a tricky little thought niggled at the back of my mind: thousands of people dream about this: Fall, act hurt, and sue the city. My thoughts even progressed to buying a building for our Chabad center, but I shook my head and reminded myself that if G-d wanted to give me money, I would have to work a lot harder than this to get it!

I recently met Laura* who told me she was deeply hurt by her grandmother’s will. Her grandmother had been an extremely wealthy, philanthropic woman, but had left the vast majority of her money to charity, designating only a small yearly sum to each of her children. Laura herself received nothing and was devastated. “Why would she cut me out of her will? I could be living in luxury, not having to go to college or work. I would be able to do whatever I wanted, why did she do that to me?” she wanted to know—and this was 15 years after her grandmother’s passing!

“I never met your grandmother,” I told Laura, “and I don’t know for certain why she did this, but perhaps she gave you the ultimate gift.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well,” I continued, “Had your grandmother written you generously into her will, it’s likely you would not be the ambitious, motivated person you have become. What would have driven you to attend college, graduate and work hard to make a decent living? But here you are, a strong, ambitious woman driven to get up and put in 110% every morning.”

In this week’s Torah portion the Jews finally leave Egypt, and with a vast amount of money. G-d granted them great wealth as they moved towards freedom, but with these riches came significant danger. Here is a nation accustomed to being slaves, downtrodden and persecuted, and suddenly they are not only free but fabulously wealthy. Perhaps they would abuse their newfound wealth?

But G-d planned ahead. He made sure that for 40 years in the desert they would have virtually no use for their wealth. They couldn’t buy mansions—they lived in tents. Even their food and water were provided by Heaven. All their basic needs were taken care of equally, and there was no way to buy better “coverage.”

G-d created an ideal transition period for the Jewish nation. In those 40 years they learned to think, “What do I need money for?” Having money but no use for it gave them the time and opportunity to develop a healthy relationship with it, to think of positive ways to spend it, and to consider its true value.  

Then, when they finally entered the Land of Israel, the money was no longer “new”. It was old money, and they’d thought out very clearly how to spend it wisely. Those 40 years taught them how to utilize wealth in the best possible manner, how to earn it honestly and appreciate it. More than 2,000 years later, we benefit from their knowledge.

*Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy.