Two weeks ago, I bought my children new bikes with training wheels. After a few days, I took off the training wheels and started teaching them to ride without. My five-year-old, Mendel, fell off a couple of times but got right back on and figured it out in no time. Seven-year-old Rosie, on the other hand, cried and cried that she didn’t know how to ride a two-wheeler. We talked and tried, but she wouldn’t allow me to let go of the bike. After a full week, I gave her a push and she managed to ride a bit by herself. As soon as she realized that she could do it, she became an expert rider.
I learned a couple of lessons that day.
1. All you need to do to ride a bike, is determination and self-confidence. If you believe you can do it, you will succeed.
2. Let go of the fear. In order to let go and ride, you can’t be afraid of falling.
Watching my children learn to ride their bikes reminded me of the month of Elul, which we are now entering. Elul is the last month on the Jewish calendar, the month immediately preceding Rosh Hashanah.
During the month of Elul, we are supposed to take stock of our spiritual wellbeing. Have we sinned over the past year? How can we rectify that? Have we done enough mitzvahs? How can we increase our output?
The month of Elul is our chance to reacquaint ourselves with G-d. He is more accessible to us than He is year-round, and He’s simply waiting for us to approach Him.
Like learning to ride a two-wheeler, repentance requires confidence. If we believe we can truly return to G-d’s ways, then we can. Nothing is impossible! No matter what sins we have committed during the year, we can abandon our evil ways. And like riding a bike, we might very well fall down, and not just once. But that’s ok. G-d knows how hard it is. We’re surrounded by temptation and it’s hard to stay strong. That’s why we have the month of Elul and the ability to repent.
It happened once, that a very wealthy Jew, Nosson Tzusisa, fell in love with a married woman by the name of Chana. He tried to persuade her to be with him. She refused his advances. But he was so deeply infatuated with her that he even offered her a large sum of money. When she maintained her refusal, Nosson fell ill. His health continued to decline, to the point where even the doctors said that he would die if he couldn’t be with the woman he so deeply desired.
A rabbinic authority was consulted. On the one hand, saving a life is considered the most important mitzvah. On the other hand, the woman was married, and adultery is one of the three cardinal sins. The rabbi concluded that it was not halachically permissible for Nosson to be with Chana, despite his ailing health.
Now, Chana’s husband fell upon hard times. He owed money which he couldn’t repay, and was thrown into prison as a result. Finally, when he could not withstand the prison life anymore, he sent his wife to get the money from the wealthy Nosson.
Heavy hearted, she went to visit Nosson. Without blinking an eye, he gave her all the money she needed to settle her husband’s debts, and as she turned to leave, he said he would like to sin with her.
She looked him in the eye and said, “Nosson, I now owe you and if you so choose, you may sin with me. But, know, if you do, you will forfeit your life both in this world and in the world to come. You have a life-changing moment right now—the likes of which most people never experience. You can do the right thing and redeem and purify your soul, or you can give in to your beastly temptations and destroy your soul forever.”
Her heartfelt words moved him deeply. He looked out the window and prayed to G-d from the depths of his heart. He cried bitterly, his body wracked with tears. He beseeched G-d to cure him of his terrible addiction—his temptation for the beautiful Chana.
And then, summoning up an inner strength and self-control he had not known he possessed, Nosson sent Chana away without laying a finger on her.
He had overcome a seemingly insurmountable temptation.
Years later, Rabbi Akiva noticed a tremendous, holy light emanating from Nosson’s face. He understood that this was no ordinary man, and began to teach him Torah.
In one afternoon, Nosson was able to turn his life around. He committed to doing the right thing, bared his heart to G-d and prayed for assistance, and overcame his temptation.
If Nosson—who faced such overpowering temptation—was able to come around, we certainly can. And now, in the month of Elul, G-d makes it easier than ever. He’s reaching out to us—we just need to grab on.