A few weeks ago we hosted a beautiful Friday night dinner, at which Iintroduced Todd* to Alexi*. I noticed that Todd spoke to Alexi for no more than five minutes before moving on and sitting down.
A few days later I called him and asked, “Nu, what do you think of Alexi? Would you like to go out with her?”
“Nah, she’s not really my type,” he said.
“What do you mean? She’s a wonderful, good-hearted young woman, with a warm and friendly personality.”
“Thanks, rabbi, but really, she’s not my type.”
“Are you sure? She’s also intelligent and attractive. What exactly are you referring to when you say she’s not your type?”
Finally, Todd explained, "She’s not sophisticated enough for me."
Ah, sophisticated. That’s a new one for me!
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The midrash explains why Moshe, the greatest prophet in the history of the world, chose Tzippora as his bride. Why? Because she behaved simply and with humility.
Now, simple does not mean stupid. Tzippora was highly intelligent, but she felt no need to satiate her ego by being in the limelight. In fact, while Moshe is mentioned hundreds of times in the Torah, Tzippora is mentioned only three times. She was content to live a quiet and unassuming life.
Once upon a time, people would say yes or no for the right reasons, based on important, fundamental principles. Now, we are quick to pass judgment for all the wrong reasons. Today, our answers are clouded by “sophisticated” judgment, social pressure and social media.
And our “sophisticated” thinking is not working to our advantage.
My friend Chaim*, a 42-year-old bachelor, has been dating a wonderful 36-year-old woman for the past two months. I asked him, “Are you attracted to her?” But he is still not sure.
It seems we are less and less sure of everything these days.
Ask a Jew praying in shul, “Do you believe in G-d? Are you religious?” Good luck getting a definitive answer!
When the Jews were asked to accept the Torah, they responded immediately, “We will do and we will hear.” It was simple.
We have since become a “sophisticated” people, but maybe it’s time to take a step back, and learn to appreciative simplicity again.
*Names changed to protect privacy