Just the other day we were heading to Central Park, my kids racing ahead on scooters, and a woman stopped to tell me, “Your son’s helmet is not on correctly. You should really secure it more tightly.” I thanked her and assured her that all the helmets were properly secured. Now, this would not be so strange if it only happened once in a while, but it happens all the time. My two-year-old will be having a tantrum in the park and a stranger will undoubtedly come over to tell me how to deal with it. And I’m left thinking to myself, “Do you realize that before 6:00am today I changed seven diapers and fed breakfast to five babies?” Or we’ll be biking in Central Park and somebody will stop to tell me that the kids are too far ahead and it’s dangerous and irresponsible, and all I can think is, “I’m not exactly an inexperienced dad! I have eight kids!” And then there’s the weather brigade. It’s hot, it’s cold, it’s raining, it’s windy, there’s snow in the forecast (perhaps for three months from now…) and people are sure my kids are not suitably dressed, “Your child should be wearing a raincoat!” “Where’s his sunhat?” “She’ll be cold, she needs a scarf!” And while I appreciate their concern, inwardly I roll my eyes and wonder, “Do you think I don’t know how to keep my kids comfortable and safe?” Ironically, I probably have a lot more hands-on childcare experience than most of the people who approach me! I know how to dress them, feed them, keep them safe, maintain boundaries and still give them a good time. Imagine that! Their concern is genuine, but I doubt any of them are raising eight kids, including triplets. When I think about it, however, I realize that we treat G-d the same way. He tells us to put on tefillin every day, and we tell him we know better. He says Torah is your life–learn it every single day, and we say, “I already have a life, I don’t have time for that.” He says keep Shabbat, a day of rest, and we say, “Nah, we have other ways to rest.” But G-d is the expert. He is the one who created the world, created us, and knows what we need. And still we think we know better! How ironic.
Whenever I walk through the streets of Manhattan with my kids, I receive droves of unsolicited advice. It’s the strangest thing, but for some reason New Yorkers seem to feel the need to help me with my parenting.
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