Last week, I flew from Newark to Cape Town, South Africa, with two of my brothers and their families to celebrate two simchas: a wedding and a bar mitzvah.
Long flights always come with their challenges, and this one would be 15 hours(!), but we were well prepared and looked forward to a peaceful trip.
On a flight this long, it’s inevitable that we’ll have to do some of the daily prayers aboard. We’re always mindful that we are guests on the aircraft and try to be as unobtrusive as possible. We wait until meal service has ended, remain out of the crew's way as much as possible, and return to our seats quickly. We certainly never want to inconvenience anyone.
We’ve done this on countless flights over many years without incident. This time, it was entirely different.
As soon as we started the evening prayers, one flight attendant (I’ll call him S) began shouting at us aggressively. “Move! Get out of the aisle!” He did this repeatedly, frightening our children and shocking us all.
Later that evening, my brother fell asleep and his legs drifted slightly in the aisle—something we’ve all done! But instead of waking him with a polite request, S. slapped his legs to wake him.
A short time later, my 12-year-old niece was returning to her seat after using the restroom. As S. passed, he physically shoved her aside. Her mother witnessed the entire incident and was left stunned.
We lodged formal complaints with other members of the crew but nothing changed.
The following morning, the same pattern repeated itself. Once again, S. shouted at members of our family as we prayed quietly. He then repeatedly ordered my nephew, who was standing quietly at his own seat in the middle of the Amidah, the most important prayer, to sit down.
At that point, I had had enough and asked him to stop yelling. Instead, he became even more agitated and aggressive, so I took out my phone and began recording the interaction, which only further angered him.
Thank G-d, we arrived in Cape Town safely and celebrated our family's joyous occasions together. And I sincerely hope we do not encounter S on our flight home!
But in mulling over this story, I wondered what it is that makes us so determined to gather in prayer even in places that aren’t welcoming or conducive. After all, we are fortunate to have shuls—dedicated prayer spaces—in so many places. Couldn’t we just pray before we left and again upon arrival?
But in Judaism, prayer is not exclusively tied to a physical space. G-d is accessible and waiting to hear from us wherever we go—whether that’s a shul, an amusement park, a boat, or an airplane.
Yes, we should pray quietly, respectfully, and without seeking special treatment. But simply skipping prayers is never an option. So next time you’re traveling, or out for the day without access to a shul, don’t be intimidated or embarrassed to stop and pray wherever you are. And it is my hope that the airline will adequately convey that to S, so the next group of Jews on his flight aren’t subjected to the same treatment we were.
Oh and I really hope S. is not our flight attendant on our way back!